Becoming a living donor no matter what - with AKF's help

Robin M. knew that her friend of 10 years had kidney issues, but she did not know the details or how bad it was until the spring of 2023 when her friend told her she was in kidney failure. She was going to start home dialysis, but her best option was a kidney transplant. Unfortunately, her friend's options for a living organ donor were limited. Robin's friend was resigning herself to waiting and hoping for a transplant from the waitlist when it came out in conversation that she and Robin have the same blood type. 

"That was like an 'aha!' moment for me," said Robin. "I had thought about donating – I've always been an organ donor on my license – but I was raising children, I was taking care of elderly parents and had other responsibilities. This was the first time in my life where I wasn't taking care of anybody. And here was somebody right in front of me that very possibly I could help."

With the full support of her husband and three sons, Robin began the process of testing to find out if she could donate to her friend. They were warned that it was not likely that they would match since they were not related, but that did not deter Robin. "I thought it might be a long shot that I would match, but it was a long shot worth taking."

Fortunately, the long shot worked out. "In the end they said we were very closely matched and how unusual that was considering that we weren't related. [The transplant team] were all very surprised at that," said Robin.

Robin was also determined that if she was going to be a donor, she was going to give her friend "the best kidney [she] could." She wanted to "ace every test," so she started eating healthier, losing weight and doing everything she could to stay healthy. "Once I said that I would do this, I did not want be the reason it wouldn't work," Robin explained. "I didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize anything." 

In addition to the ups-and-downs Robin felt as her friend faced health complications waiting for the transplant, there were logistical and financial challenges to the process as well. Robin underwent her testing to be a donor (as well as the transplant surgery) at Tufts Medical Center, which is over an hour drive from her home in southeastern Massachusetts. 

"The traveling back and forth to the hospital, you don't realize how much you put out for meals, gas, and wear and tear on the car and all of that until you start adding it up. And all of a sudden it became apparent," said Robin. "And of course, you're out of work for a while [after surgery] and the family medical leave doesn't kick in for a bit. Those are things that you still have to think about. But I felt that whatever it took was worth it…I was going do it no matter what."

That's when Robin learned about the American Kidney Fund (AKF)'s Living Donor Assistance Program (formerly the David Atkins Living Donor Assistance Fund) from her transplant social worker. The Living Donor Assistance Program seeks to increase access to living kidney donations by reimbursing out-of-pocket costs for current and potential living kidney donors. 

"The David Atkins Fund is a great thing because it does take a lot of that burden off of [donating a kidney]," said Robin. 

Robin's persistence and care paid off on Dec. 27, 2023, when she donated her kidney to her friend.

"We see each other nearly every day, and so I've seen the tremendous change in her. From the spring of 2023 when she was first told she had stage 5 [kidney failure] to now is a miracle," said Robin. "We were astounded when my husband and I went to see her the day after surgery how big a change there was in that short time. To see her the next day, she was laughing. Her voice was stronger, her coloring was better. It was just amazing." 

Robin and her friend continue to marvel at how amazing their transplant experience is. "Prior to surgery, the surgeon told me, 'Your life won't change, but your friend's will.' On the day of surgery, I told him 'That was not true.' Because even before surgery, my life changed. And since then, I'm such a different person and it's a beautiful thing."

Robin proudly shares her living donor experience with everyone she can in the hope that more people will consider it. Her son is even considering becoming a donor now, but Robin cautioned him – and any potential donors – to be very thoughtful about the decision.

"What I want people to know is that the need is huge, but not everybody, for whatever reason, is able to be a donor, but everybody can help," said Robin. "Anybody can help that wants to. Whether you talk the talk, whether you share the American Kidney Fund [website] or donate or volunteer or support somebody that is going through it, there are so many ways that you that anybody can help."

You can find out more about the Living Donor Assistance Program on AKF's website, including how you can donate to it to help living donors like Robin.